Thursday, May 07, 2009

ETIQUETTE... Giveaway!

Awhile ago I did a post called, "Let's Bring Back." Several of you commented about etiquette and good manners, ie; opening the door for people, giving up your seat for an elderly person, and being neighborly. I thought it would be fun to have a giveaway about etiquette.

Here is how the giveaway works:

Starting today, you simply enter by leaving a comment about what customs, manners or traditions you'd like to bring back or change.

Limited to one entry per person. Help me spread the news about the giveaway by mentioning it on your own blog and you'll get a second chance to enter. Simply enter a second comment alerting me of the mention.

See the prizes below...



FIRST PRIZE: But of course, two vintage books on etiquette. One is titled, Book of Etiquette, copyright 1921. This book covers everything from entertaining, house servants and tipping, to travel and hotel etiquette. The second book is titled, Good Manners, copyright 1934. This covers young people who wish to be correct, as well as polite!



SECOND PRIZE: What is etiquette without the lost art of letter writing? This winner receives a G. Lalo writing tablet with matching envelopes. G. Lalo, the Parisian social stationery manufacturer since 1919, provides the royal courts of Europe with handcrafted stationery. Two aspects of G. Lalo stationery contribute to its fame: the quality of its papers and the elegance of its presentation.

The entries can be made until Wednesday, May 13th at 9:00 pm PST. The winners will be picked via Random.org on Thursday, May 14th, and announced on this blog. I will contact the winners for your mailing addresses. Please provide a valid e-mail address or link to one.

{I'll start with my comment here...hope I don't offend any of you .... Let's have cell phones not allowed in restaurants or shops. I am so tired of having a meal out, only to have the person seated next to me speaking loudly on their phone about their date last night. Please people, step outside of the restaurant, shop or post office!}

Can't wait to hear your comments! Good luck!


The giveaway is now closed. Thanks for your comments. Results tomorrow!

39 comments:

fabbrunette said...

I would love if a man stood up when a lady was leaving the table and coming back to the table. I always love how classy that looks in movies, it gives such respect!
http://fab.typepad.com/brunette

Sabrina said...

I'd like to see more people honoring the concept of RSVP when it comes to invitations to events and parties. It's amazing to me how people won't let people know whether or not they're coming to an event and the either don't show up or they come with extra people in tow.

*The Beautiful Life* said...

Oh I love that, too! (A man standing up for a woman).

I wish folks would curb their cell phone usage in public -- waiting rooms, grocery checkout, restaurants, etc.) How often I see someone checking out at the store, talking on the phone the ENTIRE TIME -- so rude to the cashier, as if she/he does not even exist.
I've eaten an entire meal at a resturant only to have the person at the next table talk on her c-phone the entire we were there (approx. 45 minutes!).
And no offense to those of you out there who use these, but for me, the epitomy of this is the little bluetooth earpiece thingy that people wear. As if they chose to be born with their cell coming out of their head. Can nothing wait until you are in the proper environment to talk? We live in such an "urgent" society now -- but we're actually preferring the "urgent" over the IMPORTANT most times, I fear.
Okay, well this was MORE than you bargained for. So, I vote that cell phone manners be brought up quite a few notches. :)

(THANKS FOR LISTENING YOU GUYS!)

Ruth

Susan said...

I love etiquette - all of it! I would bring back always a note of thanks to people and APPROPRIATE table manners. Use a napkin, no elbows on the table, chew with your mouth closed - I am such a stickler!

Eme said...

Wow - so many to choose from. Please, thank-yous, and a general air of politeness - that would be a great place to start!

Savvy Addy said...

Call me old fashion - but I like gentleman, to be just that - a gentle man. Treat women with respect, and women treating the men just as cordial! Here's to hoping I win!

Newlywed Hostess said...

I agree with you about cell phones. Nothing is ruder than a fellow diner talking on the phone when you are eating. But my biggest pet peeve is when people have no table manner. They eat with their mouth open, elbows on the table and napkin not in their lap. I feel that you should cut your food one bite at a time, and put your utensils down between bites. Its not like you are in a race to finish dinner. Dinner should be a time to enjoy company and not speed!

ana said...

What a great post!
mmm... where to start... first to respect always older people like our grandparents or simply people who you know have lived a lot more than you.
I have a book of etiquette from 1940 and it has a funny chapter about the use of gloves in ladies and gentleman.
I'm going to say this because today is so common but my dad's age is 77 and he always tells me that when he was young, people use to dress a little bit formal, now its so common to go to theaters or out on Sundays with anything we found in our closet...

Berlin Deluxxe said...

In my home, my son sets the table, with silver ware and goblets placed in the correct fashion/order. I wish more people knew how to do this. Setting a proper table is a dying art.

Paris Atelier said...

Oh where to start!?! I think general respect for anybody older than you. It's amazing how many teens I see out there pushing through an entry way to a store. Opening doors for people. General acts of random kindness. I love the idea of getting dressed to go to the bank or on a flight. Definately, thank you's and in this age of technology sending a hand written note means so much. Great post Lynn!!!
xoxo
Judith~

Lauren said...

THANK YOU notes!!! Sometimes people don't write thank you notes immediately after a gift is received and that bugs me! It takes 2 mins people, and I for one look forward to hearing what a person thinks about a gift I took the time to pick out.

FrenchBlue said...

I agree with The Beautiful Life. Cell phone manners are high on my list. Maybe if we all wore white gloves again, we couldn't answer our phones so much...
xox's

Lauren said...

Here's my comment for a mention of this on my blog.

Heather said...

There are so many niceties that seem to be disapearing on a daily basis. My top peeves are: ignoring an RSVP request, taking a cell phone call everywhere and anytime and ignoring who is standing right before you, forgetting to write thank you notes, email invitations (most of these), gift registrations and announcing it on an invite. Most of all, I wish more parents would instill simple manners in their children.

DesertChildAZ said...

It's not really an etiquette issue, but I really wish people would put more effort into the way they dress, like they did in eras gone by....I particularly wish men wore hats and suits everyday. I love men in hats! And I'm not talking about baseball hats! When I go to the office, I want to see the polished look of a man in a suit and hat, not a man in shorts and a t-shirt. But if I could weave this into an issue of etiquette, I wish men would wear hats and tip them like they used to!

JZ said...

I would like to see letters being sent in the mail again. With the technology that is at our finger tips today, there has been a decrease in romance and communication. Cell phones, text messages, email...they are so impersonal. Writing letters is an art and is beautiful. My grandmother and I write letters to each other weekly and always discuss how sad it is that people don't have the time anymore to write a simple note. I am not even talking about romantic love notes, becuase if a man loves you, he will make time for that (if it's his thing). I am talking about a simple "hello there," or "i thinking of you," or "i miss you." It is a lost art and feels good every now and then to hear from friends and/ or family other than through an email or message on a birthday or special event. Letters can be spontaneous and meaningful. It would be lovely to bring back something that requires thought and action rather than fingertips on a keyboard or keypad.

a. said...

Great topic!

I totally agree about the cell phones and the thank you notes and the pleases/thank you's too.

I think that people have forgotten the golden rule, don't be so quick to judge and treat others as you would like to be treated!

The fact that you see parents teaching their children manners is always refreshing but I don't see it a lot anymore which is sad.

Jacque said...

I am a stickler for tradition. I would love to "courtship" brought back. You know, when a guy wants to date your daughter, he asks YOUR permission to do so. And, when a guy wants to kiss your daughter, he asks HER permission to do so. And when a guy wants to marry your daughter, he asks YOUR permission to do so. Old fashioned chivalry and getting to know the other person BEFORE marriage just might cut down on the divorce rate. But, that is just MY opinion..the cell phone thing is a biggie too!! SO RUDE.

Sabrina said...

Just thought I'd let you know that I posted at my blog regarding your Etiquette Giveaway...as well as to my facebook and myspace pages.

I think it's an excellent idea. A return to good etiquette is long overdue in our society in my opinion.

Karos said...

It's so simple, but opening the doors for others , or holding the door open for those behind you so that it does not shut on their person would be so nice.

I think the very practice just honors a concept that "I see you are there, and I value you as a human being," which is so very lost today in almost every etiquette transgression there is going.

Moon said...

I would love to see people pay attention when conversing on the phone instead of working on the computor & making appropiate noise that is suppose to stand in for real conversation.

And while we're at it remove the word "conversate" which is not a word, insteado f ocnversing, converse at al.

And follow through when you promise to return a phone call or having it on your voice mail.

Learn not to ask very personal or intrusive questions & getting offended when one chooses not to answer it.

Lastly dressing appropiately for an event. Nothing worse then seeing a woman very dressed and male companion in t-shirt & jeans going to a wedding, funeral, a restaurant. Or women dressing more appropiately for a strip joint then work unless she works in a strip joint.

Moon said...

I have posted to my blog www.iiammoon.blogspot.com for second chance.

Excellent idea!

Anonymous said...

Manners....
Hmmm, manners now a days are just not how they used to be. The men now maybe debonair and suave, but it isn't the way we are thinking. Go back to the era of where men were true gentlemen. Car door opened for you,chairs pulled away for you to sit down and men would stand up as you left and came back to the table.. The early eras were classy and filled with proper etiquette. There was no cell phones in stores, people spaking so loud you can't even hear yourself think. There wasn't cursing and people so much in a hurry they run you off the road. When do you hear please and thank you anymore?? There just isn't repect now a days. I would like to see proper table manners, no elbows , no reaching and grabbing for food as though you haven't eaten for days....come on people. Where were the days when you were wined and dined, insted it's wam, bam, thank you maam. I mean what kind of women wants that. It would be nice to bring back etiquette the way it used to be.

Thank you,
Mickela

mickeladucharme@hotmail.com

Bonjour Madame said...

I would like to see people put down their blackberries while attending meetings or just having a conversation with another person. I abhor the constant checking of emails and responding. I would also like to bring back the dinner table instead of eating in front of the tv. And while we're at it, the dinner party filled with good conversation, elegant place settings and a home cooked meal.

DolceDreams said...

I have to say hat manners are so crucial. One thing that I have learned from life is that having manners will make a difference in your life. People tend to get lazy, don't know better, or take the easy route out. I am raising two sons that I try to instill so much in.
I must say one thing in particular that I am a stickler for is written thank yous. To receive a handwritten note of gratitude is a dying art. E-mails just don't cut it. And people that cannot even ackowledge receipt of a gift that a person took their time, effort, thought and money to get are just lame.
Manners will never be out of style...
Nathalie

creakypavillion said...

Good manners are very important, but more important is what behind them- respect to the fellow humans and behaving so as to increase their comfort.
Not putting elbows on the table - so as not to take the space from a person seating next to you. Opening the door for someone - so as he/she didn't have to put forth an effort. Introducing ourselves to a newcomer to a party - so as he/she will not feel excluded from conversation.

Or like the H.M. Queen of England, behave as if you're not scandalized by the lack of manners and terrible breach of proper etiquette in one of your lady-guests who were so rude as to appear hugging the Royal Person.

creakypavillion said...

I am posting an announcement about the giveaway on my blog.

The Red Velvet Shoe said...

I loved this post the first time around~~and I love it again! Dressing for the occasion~~it shows respect for others and ones self. I also adore the idea of handwritten correspondence, and everything that goes along with it. Teaching one's children to write thank you notes, and setting the example first. Gentlemen being exactly that. . . standing up when a lady stands, all that good old fashioned, romantic stuff!
I could go on and on. . .
Michelle

Brayton Homestead Interiors said...

You are so correct~ manners are fading today~ I say treat others with the respect you'd like to recieve yourself. Those vintage books are so lovely, how nice of you!

Casie Rachele said...

I would love it if people would kindly send a short but sweet thank you note after they receive a gift. Sometimes I don't even know if they received it as they never acknowledge it.

cpullum said...

What happened to men opening the doors for women? I have gone into stores and had the door hit me in the face because the man in front of me didn't bother to hold the door open. men don't seem to respect their ladies like they used too! There are a few good men who still do this for women and when I see it I cry!
Carla
cpullum(at)yahoo(dot)com

meandering pearl said...

I love this bringing etiquette back!!! hooray hooray!! kind wishes

lisa golightly said...

I miss neighborhoods that had a real sense of community ... where neighbors at least said "hello" on the street. Remember when we could go and borrow a cup of sugar from ea other ? Could you imagine doing that now ? Would love to see people put more effort in how they dress as well, I say we have a national hat and glove day and see what happens !

Lisa

Frenchee le Trip said...

Lynn, What a wonderful idea! I could write and write on the subject. I have always had a thing for etiquette and am so happy to read the discussion. I will link over from my blog.

There is so much to say about how we interact and the need for nice manners, but I will just add this for a start: I'd love it if we would take a moment and acknowledge everyone we come into contact with. How awesome our days could be if we looked people in the eyes, took a breath, and spread some kindness around.

Frenchee le Trip said...

Okay - got you covered over in French territory. I've linked to you! Cheers, Lynn!

O'Shimkus said...

All excellent ideas!

If I could bring back one aspect of bygone good manners into modern life it would have to do with the blatant, incorrect, and over-usage of profanity in our everyday speech.

Now I'm no prude who's saying that no one should ever curse about anything, but I think we all can admit that it's gotten way too prevalent. Cursing is now common in business meetings, out of the mouths of children, and as a substitute for basic adjectives. And in doing so, frankly, it has lost its edge.

People don't construct witty zingers anymore (like Mae West or Bette Davis did) to lance their enemies - instead we all use the same stack of four letter words. How boring!

And I've noticed only a dwindling few people who will apologize for cursing inappropriately in mixed company.

And don't get me started on people who flatly demand to curse in public - as if they were defending the first ammendment!

Di Overton said...

Kid's having some respect for their elders. I think adults have become scared of kids in case they are reported for abuse if they react. So much for our politically correct society.

Joan said...

Lynn,

This is such a fantastic post! I love the ideas everyone posted thus far, and I will add one that means a lot to me...

I wish people would show better manners when driving a car. When I began reading about all the traffic fatalities right here in SF due to people not paying attention to pedestrians, it got me thinking. What if we all slowed down when we drive, stay off the phone (including those ear wires) and focus on what's on the road?

We could avoid hitting someone we didn't "see" because our mind was someplace else.

We could motion to someone to go ahead of us -- either to change lanes or to back out of a driveway or to take a parking space we both want.

We could nod and SMILE our appreciation when someone lets us pass a double-parked car in our lane.

And, most of all, we could slow down and stop as we get to a yellow light, instead of racing thru the yellow (or red) and scaring the heck out of everyone else!

After I nearly got sideswiped by somone who ran a red light about a year ago, I have a new attitude about the basics of driving, whether it's courtesy/etiquette or safety we call it.

I play a game with myself to look for opportunities to let a driver to go ahead of me when it's actually my right of way -- turning left at a 4-way stop, waiting to pass a double-parked UPS truck, moving over a lane on the freeway to make it easier for someone to merge. It sounds silly but the idea of doing something so small that can make a total stranger have a better day ends up making me happier.

Cheers to Lynn for coming up with this idea! Oh what is that great old saying? "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness!" You have sparked a discussion that can spread far and wide.

Can't wait to see who wins your wonderful giveaway. Thanks, Lynn!

Joan

THE PICKLED HUTCH said...

Wow, we all have a lot to say! One common courtesy I would love to see honored is something we have to do everyday. Walk down the street on the right side of the sidewalk so we each have our space to pass. Remember when we all used to do that? It always amazes me how a group of people 2,3,4 across will just keep walking without allowing for the opposite traffic to pass ON the sidewalk. Or cutting in front of someone carrying something heavy to make sure they get to their destination faster. It always makes me smile when I see someone step outside themselves to think of the other person first. Good one Lynn!
Lisa & Alfie